Agony...

This is from almost a year ago during a layover at the LA Airport. I had just gotten back from home after a month-long visit and I was already missing home a day later. I guess every once a while we all get emotional and want to express some of it and this is how I chose to do it.
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Never had the agony of leaving home been so great for me. As my eldest sister who was the first one to bid me goodbye hugged me, I could hear her sob behind my ears. When she kissed me and rolled tears down her cheeks I felt uneasy in my throat and not too long later, my eyes were wet as well. She made me feel so weak that I had to start thinking about the last time I cried. I could barely remember it.

Until now, I had thought I was a man enough not to cry. But leaving home for the land of opportunities, brought out the cry-baby within me. Later on, as it was time to depart I could hear my mom sobbing too. This sight was not very unfamiliar to me as she had done the same 1118 days ago, when I first left home, not knowing when I would come back. After all, she had me in her womb for nine months and I had never been out of her sight until three years ago. Knowing that it was impossible to make her smile when a dear one is leaving home, I just wanted to comfort her but at that time it seemed like scaling the Everest would have been a lot easier. No words would come out of my throat and I felt uneasy. That morning I knew I would not get to eat her food for the next few years but I did not dare to mention that. I never ate much of what she gave me but believe me whatever little I had, I still have the taste glued to my tongue. I guess I didn’t want to spoil myself with her food only to be disappointed by the crappie food I would have to eat in the US.

My dad, Oh! How can I express the respect I have for him. I know he wanted to say something before I left. And he did but without uttering a word. I could read it all in his eyes. I know I don’t need my ears to hear what my dad wants to say. I could see it all in his eyes and in his face, in the unsaid words.

My other two sisters came to see me off at the airport. When they got off the car, I hugged them both and kissed them but I couldn’t say a word. I said ‘Take Care” but I don’t know if they understood even one of those two words. They looked behind at me and I knew they were uneasy too in the throat not to mention the ready-to-cry eyes. So we departed without saying anything to each other. Jeeeeezzz isn’t that funny?

As I am sitting here waiting for my next plane I try to count how many times I could not stop myself from shedding tears. I would say roughly six including twice in the first plane that took me away from home, my sweet home. Home that is on the other side of the world, home so far away that it takes two days of flying in the world’s fastest planes. This is one of the few times I have realized that the earth is a bigger place than they said it is in my elementary geography class. I had believed when they said that the world is round but not that big. How wrong they were!